Prayer

At this time last year, I was getting ready to make a life change.  I was praying relentlessly about the direction God wanted me to take in my professional life.  I was in an administrative position making the best money of my life, but was utterly miserable.  I'm a nurse and at the core of my job is the desire to help others.  But, I have to tell you...I was helping no one.  God gave me the opportunity to advance very early on in my career and I am thankful for that.  The lessons learned in that job were many and God had that all planned out, too.  But I had come to a place where the job was taking over my life.  I came home and it was all I thought about.  The one word that could describe my life at the end of my time there is simply...DREAD.  I desperately wanted out, but couldn't see the way.  As far as nursing goes, I had it made.  I worked four days a week, no weekends, no nights, no holidays.  If you are in healthcare, you know how few and far between those jobs are!  I also couldn't see how in the world I could take a cut in pay.  We had built a new house a couple of years earlier and had welcomed our third little boy about a year later.  So as much as I wanted out, I was scared of what would await me if I made the leap.  Well, in typical God fashion, a school nursing position opened up in the school district my two oldest attend.  I felt it was a God thing, but convincing my husband and family was a bit challenging at first.  They, too, had the same concerns.  How can we take such a drastic cut in income?  My dad couldn't make sense of the fact that I would want to leave behind what he saw as a "promising career."  I applied for the job and I prayed, prayed, prayed.  I prayed harder than I believe I've ever prayed before.  This job wouldn't just offer a way out of my dread.  I truly believed it was a job in which I could make a difference in the lives of students.  I saw so many possibilities in the position. Ways to express myself creatively and a chance to make something my very own.  I was so excited, but at the same time was reserved because I didn't want to have my hopes crushed.  I continued to pray.  I asked my church to pray.  My ladies small group was praying.  My parents were praying.  Lots of prayers went up to heaven on my behalf.  The hiring process in the public school system is sometimes drawn out and this was no exception.  I had multiple interviews and some time lapsed between those interviews and the school board meeting where the ultimate decision would be made.  I continued to pray and asked God to grant me this opportunity, but at the same time I asked Him to give me peace if this was not His will for my life.  Finally, toward the end of July I received a call and was notified that the school board had voted to hire me.  Talk about excited!!!  I was so excited that it didn't even seem real!  I felt a huge sense of relief and freedom.  And then.......WHAM.  It hit me.  What did I just do?  Can I do this?  Did I make the right decision?  I'm sure God was less than thrilled at my sudden surge of doubt.  He carried me through it and a year later I can say with 100% certainty that I absolutely, positively made the right decision.  There are no perfect jobs and there are days I don't want to go to work.  There are days I get frustrated.  But even with the frustrations, I know I am where God has placed me.  I honestly feel like I do make a difference every day and that is a great feeling.  People ask me a lot if I have any regrets and I always answer them no.  I used to say the only thing I missed about my old job was my paycheck, but quite frankly, I haven't missed that either.  God has a way of making ends meet.  Would I like to still have that extra income?  Well, of course!  But, we have not gone hungry.  My kids still have plenty.  We are still able to go and do pretty much as we please.  And most importantly, I am with my kids as much as any working mom can be and for that I am eternally grateful. 

I started this post with the intention of writing about how we need to pray for each other.  Like I mentioned, I had many people praying with and for me about this BIG decision in my life.  To other people, it may seem trivial.  It was huge to me.  I have a friend right now who's little boy is about to undergo his 3rd open heart surgery and I am praying for her.  I strive to pray for her as if it is my child who is about to undergo that operation.  How often have I said, "I'll pray for you" and then half-heartedly muttered a 10 second prayer for that person?  I don't want to do that.  People have poured their hearts out for me in prayer and I want to do the same for others.  I was up in the middle of the night last night re-filling a sippy cup (don't judge me) and I couldn't go back to sleep so read one of my favorite blogs (www.bitsofsplendor.com).  The writer was having a "heavy" day and honestly shared her feelings and her heart with her readers.  I felt for her.  I have been where she is.  I prayed for her.  I've never met her, but I felt empathy and I prayed for her.  We are called to bear each others burdens and I hope that I am faithful to do that.